The 4 Behrs!

This is the story of the 3 Behrs. Once upon a time, Poppa Behr (Michael), Momma Behr (Julie), and Baby Behr (Caroline) wished and prayed for another little Behr to complete our family.This is the beginning of the story of how Gracie became our little Behr. We hope that you enjoy our story. It is our hope that by sharing our story, we will encourage more families to look at international adoption

Please sign our guest book at the bottom of this page. This helps me have an idea of the number of new families visiting to determine if I need to upgrade the site. Good Luck to each of you on this incredible journey!!

Gracie and Caroline are growing up so fast! Gracie is 2.5 and growing like a weed. She knows her ABCs, can count to 20 (at least most days) and loves to do anything fearless...like jumping into the pool!!! She loves to swim, play, and follow her "SISSY" around. Caroline will be 9 this Aug. and is going into the 4th grade. She loves soccer, tumbling, and playing with her friends. We have just returned from our annual reunion with the Smith and Mitchell family and both Jacks and Aly are incredible.....pictures of those to follow!!

Julie, Aug 2005

Sweet Caroline, December 2002

Gracie, 17 months June 2004

Gracie: Always smiling *walked at 11 months*

Gracie at 1 year....happy as always

Caroline and Gracie Dec. 2004

Big Sister Caroline and Gracie

Gracyn O'Brien Behr, Kalininigrad Russia May 2003

The 4 Behrs: Home Together at Last, Savannah GA Aug. 20003

Gracie on Trip One, June 2003

Caroline and Gracie in Traditional Russian Costume

Gracie, 7 months Tybee Island

Gracie and Jackson......My First Boyfriend

This is a copy of the insert we included in Gracie's Adoption Announcement.

Gracie's Story

As many of you know, we have adopted a baby girl from Russia. It has been one of the most amazing and rewarding events of our lives. We are so happy to let each of you know that we are home with our new daughter Gracie (officially Gracyn OBrien Behr). Her first name means "gift from God" and her middle name is after Michaels great-grandmother. Gracie was born on Jan. 5, 2003 and has blonde hair and amazing blue eyes. She is very much like her big sister Caroline in looks and dispositionright down to the "stork bite" birthmark on the back of her neck! Gracie was born in Kaliningrad, which is a region of Russia in the far west right on the Baltic Sea. Kaliningrad is not attached to the mainland of Russia and is the Amber capital of the world (something like 90% of all the amber comes from this region). It had a countryside feel and is very lush and green. The orphanage is old and somewhat run-down but immaculate. The workers there not only love and care for the children, but also take a lot of pride in the cleanliness of the building. There were about 80 children living in Gracies orphanage ranging in age from 1 month 3 years, On our first trip we were able to pack 2 large duffel bags with clothing (both gently used and new items) and supplies (creams, baby shampoo, bandaids, etc). On our second visit, we brought Tylenol and nose drops. The director was so very grateful for everything that she unpacked the bags in her office and examined all the items! This trip has given us the opportunity to realize how blessed we are in life. This has also given us an opportunity to share our success with the children of this region. We plan to continue to support the orphanage both now and in the future. The people of Russia have a lot of pride in their country and their children, but adoption is not widely "accepted" in their culture. While many of these children will be adopted by Western families (Americans, English, European), most will remain in the orphanages until age 16 whereby they are then sent out into the "real world" to try to earn a living without any real resources or quality education. On our second trip to Russia, we were able to spend about 3 days at the orphanage with Gracie and traveled over to the Baltic Sea (which by the way is gorgeous) to relax and "de-stress" for our court appearance on Monday. Gracie was officially our daughter on July 21, 2003 at 11:55 am after a short court hearing in Kaliningrad. We traveled back to Moscow on July 23 to complete the necessary papers and flew home on July 27. Gracie became an American citizen when our plane touched down in New York on July 27 at 3:45 pm. Russia is a beautiful place to visit and we look forward to returning one day with both Caroline and Gracie. We want to "Spasibah" (thank you) for all of your thoughts and prayers as we made this incredible journey to complete our family.

Michael, Julie, Caroline, and Gracie

Steps for Completing an International Adoption

Steps for Completing an International Adoption

Read and talk with family and friends about adoption. Begin to sort through your feelings, concerns, and thoughts. Make the decision that adoption is how you have decided to add to your family. Remember that this a decision, not your "second choice" for adding to your family. Join some of the online groups like Yahoo/Adoptin Forum to read and "talk" with other families in various stages of the adoption process. Decide on regions, ethnicity, gender, and health status of the child that would work well for your family. Do some reading about international adoption and request information from many agenices to get a good overview of the process, timeline, and cost. Talk with friends about the process; they may of someone who has completed an international adoption. We chose to pick the region, then to find an agency that operated in that area.

After making the deicision to adopt internationally, apply for the I-600 INS form. You do not have to know the agency yet and you will need this form to proceed with ANY international adoption. Depending on your region, it may take several months to receive your approval to adopt. You will also need to be fingerprinted at the federal level in order to complete the I-600. You should receive information from the INS office in your area regarding the process for this fingerprinting. Indicate the maximum number of children (this can always be decreased, but all documents must be re-submitted to increase approvals)

Begin to gather documents*. These must be certified, notarized copies. Be sure that the notary does not expire for 8-12 months.

Research agencies online, from the received materials, and through networking. There are several sources online that you can read about agency experiences and "ratings" (see links page). Try to attend any open house or events offered by agencies. Narrow your list to 1-3 agencies and then talk in person or on the phone to as many families as possible. The agencies should give you references, but network online as well to learn as much as possible. Keep in mind that there are always people who are unhappy with their agencies so ask WHY!! (We found some of the reasons to be significant and others very trivial). MAKE YOUR DECISION, based on the information you have gathered and your "gut" feeling!

Once you have decided on the agency either meet in person or over the phone of discuss all factors like cost, timeline, etc. Complete the agency application and find out about the home study procedure. Most agencies will either complete this for you or refer you to an agency in your area that does international home studies. These generally run $700-2000, depending on region. There are various state and regional requirements for the home study process in your area (like minimal number of visits, time between visits, etc.). Continue to gather required documents necessary for your region under the direction of your agency. Some of the documents may have to be collected several times since you may need them for the inital process and then an up-tp-date one when it is time to actually travel. STAY FLEXIBLE AND REALIZE THAT THE PROCESS IS EVER CHANGING AND NOT ALWAYS PREDICTABLE!

Keeping on task with getting all documents notazied and apostilled requires significant time and effort. All notaries should have a current certificate that does not expire for 8-12 months prior to anticipated completion of the adoption. Most of your documents will need to be apostilled by the Secretaty of State's office in your area. Apostilling of documents simply certifies that the notary who you used is properly liscensed.

As you collect your documents and submit them to your agency, they will need to be translated and sent overseas. The agency will also be preparing their overseas staff for your dossier (collection of all documents to be submitted for international adoption). Once you have INS approval and a completed dossier, you can then become registered for your child in the region agreed upon by you and your agency. These documents will need to include your preferences related to age, gender and health status of the child.

The real waiting begins. There is generally a timeframe that must be followed for the children to become "eligible" for adoption. In Russia, they must be on a central registry for 3 months therefore the youngest children are usually over the age of 4 months at referral. Our family decided that we would get "the call" when OUR child was ready to become part of our family and there was no real point in trying to rush this any more than rushing a pregnancy. You should have a general idea from your agency regarding timeline and the type of information you should expect.

REFERRAL TIME----- an incredible experience. You may get video, pictures, medical information, or simply an invitation to travel to the country. You will need to ask lots of questions, seek advice from adoption specialists (if needed), pray, and take a tremendous "leap of faith". Upon accepting the referral, you will begin to make travel arrangements, apply for a VISA if needed, and pack your bags since you may not have much advance notice.

Travel to meet your child. This will be one of the most amazing events in your life. Beg, borrow, or buy a video camera to capture this moment. Depending on the country, you may stay long enough to complete the adoption or you may start the process and return to complete it in several weeks. The is always some type of court hearing and keep in mind that you would not be there if the officials in that country did not consider you to be a responsible and caring adoptive parent, so "DONT SWEAT COURT TOO MUCH".

Home at last. Keep the visitors to a minimum since adopted children need time for bonding with the immediate family. Your extended family and friends will be understanding if you explain this before hand and really stick to it. One of the other important aspects that was shared with us was to not discuss our new daughter's circumstances related to adoption (ie. birth parents info, siblings, etc) until the child is old enough to have this information first. This was probably the most difficult part of "discussing the adoption" with our friends and family since they all wanted to know what we knew, but we did think it important since we did not want Gracie getting any mis-information or overhear family/friends discussing her life before she has a chance to learn her history.

* Notarized copies of: birth certificates, marriage/divorce ceritificates, passport information page, tax records, employement and salary verification, bank statements, recommendations from family and friends, copies of home study, home ownership verification, letters and physical exam information from MD, police clearance letters, and other assorted documents and copies of pictures of family, friend, home, etc

If you have any questions about Russian Adoption, please email us at germ9000@charter.net