Journey of a Lifetime

August 2002: Began doing serious research and reading. Looked at all the options for adoption and went through our last infertility procedure. I am really excited about adoption and believe that this is what God has planned for our family.

September 2002: Began to contact agencies for information and to join online adoption groups to collect information. Also started talking to people in the area who had adopted internationally. I spoke with one person who turned me on to CSS since they offer the wonderful service and assistance and more for a reasonable price.

October 2002: attended 2 adoption seminars (X Agency and CSS) within a week and really liked the CSS approach, not flashy and slick, just homey. The families seem really committed to the agency. Met Carol and Lois and really liked them both, very down to earth and friendly. The other agency seemed more "business like". They showed a very "tear jerking" video and then asked if you were ready to sign up, and OF COURSE every woman in the room was ready to adopt those children on the video. Seemed a little over the top for me. Talked with all our family and friends and confirmed to ourselves that this was right for our family.

November 2002: INS 600 A ($560) sent off as well as application with deposit ($200) to CSS. Carol sent all the agency required forms and we worked on those over the next several weeks. I also began collecting the items needed for our home study and dossier (birth certificates, etc.). Made arrangements in late Nov. to begin the home study in early December and sent off all the rest of the forms for CSS to Carol. Misc fees about ($50) fingerprints, certificates, copies.

December 2002: Began the home study ($1500) with All Gods Children on 12/8 and had the last visit on 12/19 (4 visits in all, 2 together and 1 with each of us). Also began collecting all the materials for the dossier since Carol sent them to me after all my initial paperwork was submitted and we were accepted to CSS. Finally got INS receipt and was fingerprinted in Atlanta. Began medical forms and made or had appt. for physical exam forms to be filled out and notarized. Had all bloodwork done--PE and labs did not cost anything for us.

Jan 2003: Stayed online with the support groups and did a lot of reading. Finished all the dossier requirements and got everything notarized for a donation at work ($100). Home study written up and submitted to INS on 16^th. Attended the CSS Atlanta family celebration and met some really nice folks. All dossier forms were given or mailed to Lois so that she could get them apostilled in Atlanta for us (CSS includes this service in the fee that we pay). Will begin hounding the INS in the next week to get that home study approved and the letter sent. Carol told me that she would go ahead and send the other documents to Russia to begin getting translated. Carol also mentioned humanitarian fund through CSS that helps to offer the orphanages more assistance with necessary supplies. Total spent so far: $2310.00

Feb. 2003: Called in INS to get information regarding the 3 month timeline, does it begin from 11/20 or from the time the home study is submitted?. She reported back to me that she would pull it and take a look. Had rest documents notarized and apostilled. Several documents had to be re-done since the notary did not sign as registered or not dated (be sure to look at this prior). Also remember to sign passports, cannot be apostilled without that. Found a company in Atlanta that offers medical and supply donations for "mission" trips, application approved for us to come and get diapers, etc. to take to the orphanage. INS document received on 2/20, exactly 90 days from the date received on original application in Atlanta. Carol and Lois notified and it looks like we will be traveling to Kaliningrad. We should be registered in early March. Need to submit the INS, another copy of home study and warranty deed for the house. Our friend also let us know that her dad will be able to get us at least one set of Delta Tickets although we have to fly stand by, we may get to sit in business class. Really trying to learn as much about Kalinigrad as possible. Now we wait! Sent off the last of the documents today. Got the warranty deed at the Tax assessors office in our county. Of course everyone is asking about when are you going to travel, it does not really bother me except that I feel like I repeat myself all the time. 3/13: going over to Medshare.org to pick up the donations for the ophanage.

March 2003: All of our documents are now in Russia and the last of the translating has been done. We are expecting to be registered sometime in the next few days. We had dinner with a family here in Athens to talk about their experience adopting from Kaz. Their daughter is beautiful and really healthy. They gave us lots of information and pointers regarding travel. I hope that we can pass on this information to other families once we are done.

April 2003 We are just waiting, patiently of course since we have requested an infant girl. Trying to get donations and packing done. We plan to take a lot of medical supplies, clothing (both new and old). Our family, though anxious, really feels that OUR child will present herself when she is ready so we do not want to "rush" the process

May 2003 We got the Call on May 20. We have a referral of a beautiful little girl who is not quite 5 months old. We got a picture and very brief medical information on her. She seems perfect!!! We are traveling at the end of the month. Fly out on May 29. We needed to get the Visas (next business day) and then off to Moscow.

JOURNAL OF TRIP ONE:

May 29: We arrived at Atlanta airport to fly stand by on some tickets given to us by a family friend who is retired from Delta. These tickets are great because you can fly any class, but stressful since you are always on stand by. We had our doctor prescribe a sleeping pill for the flight since we wanted to be somewhat rested when we arrived, it worked and we slept 6 hours (mind you we did have Delta elite seats so those recliners are much easier to sleep in).

May 30 We arrived in Moscow about 11:30 and we met at the airport by our CSS driver/interpreter Eliya. His English is perfect and we are really enjoying his humor and historical knowledge of the city. We are whisked off the office to meet Svetlana who is the facilitator for CSS and Irena who is the official translator of the documents. Both ladies are very warm and friendly. They reviewed our itinerary and then told us to "go off and see Moscow, since we would need to share our babys heritage with her". On our way to the hotel we got a quick tour of the city. We are staying at the Hotel Rossiya in room 12061 and have the most wonderful view of St. Basils Cathedral right outside our window, it is the best view from a room we have ever had on any of our travels. The room is very nice with 2 twins pushed together like a king bed and a beautifully redone bath. There is even a small fridge in the room. WE threw open the windows and just stared at St. Basils and red square. UNBELIEVABLE!. Eliyah took us into the hotel, helped us exchange some money (about 30 rubles to a $), and pick a quick dinner to take back to the room. They keep the passports for a couple of hours in order to process the VISA info. We then took a 2 hour nap, had some dinner, and got settled and organized. We tried to go to bed early so we would be well rested for the day.

May 31: we were picked up in the morning by Eliya and set to walking the city (we really like to walk rather than drive and once you see how Moscovites drive, you will become a walker too!!). TIP: Make sure you use the Bathroom (WC) in the hotel before you leave and bring some tissue and rubles with you in case you need to use a public toilet some of them are just a hole in the round which you stand over). We crossed the street in front of the hotel using and underground walkway, up to Red Square and got an unbelievable lesson from Eliya about the history of the Kremlin, St. Basils, and Red Square. Try to go early in the morning as the lines were really long when we left at lunch time. He took us on a tour of the Kremlin, which is actually not just a building but the original city within the red walls is all referred too as the Kremlin (about 250 rubles each and the guide is cheap at 60..it is customary for you to pay your guides admission and it is usually only 60-100 rubles so less than $4).Tip: You cannot take cameras into Lenins tomb and you must proceed quietly through the building, keep moving, with you hands out of your pockets (sign of respect), so you will need to either take turns going in and have the other person hold the camera or leave it in your drivers car parked close by because you will want it for the Kremlin. Also, you cannot take large bags into the Kremlin and sometimes there is no real reason they just say NYet, your guide will argue with them and most times get you in, but I really recommend bringing a smaller purse or bag in your suitcase that you can use while sightseeingI had this huge shoulder bag with one bright red side that always gave me trouble, so buy blackI had much better luck getting into places when I turned to bag (black side) over and wore it more to the back when trying to get into sights, less noticeable! We got to see several of the most beautiful churches and tour Lenin's tomb which is right outside the Kremlin walls to the left of St. Basils. After a quick lunch, we went to the Russian flea market right on the outskirts of the city and bought lots of ornaments, a pretty Russian costume for Caroline and some other neat souvenirs. Tip: We bought a guide and postcard pack from a street vendor on red square at a great price, but wait until you get to the flea market for souvenirs, they are about ¼ the price, also bring a shopping bag since there are none there.. After all our shopping we went back to the Hotel and freshened up. Eliyah showed us the location of the restaurant off Red Square and it is a very nice place with traditional Russian costumes and food. We made reservations and enjoyed a wonderful dinner with live "gypsy music". They speak English there and there are English descriptions inside. TIP: Plan to spend at least 2 hours at meals since they believe in "dining", not "eating", also when you are ready for your bill, you will need to ask for it since the servers feel that it is impolite to rush you. If you pay with credit card (CC), they will bring you back a slip to sign first and then bring you back a receipt with your card (the manager carefully checks your signature to be sure to sign the receipt just like the back of your card). PLEASE REMEMBER- When in Russia, do like the Russians. Quick service and meals are just not the same and you will need to be patient and learn to embrace the time to enjoy your meal, they are not slighting you, in fact we found all the people to be very kind to us. After dinner, a nice stroll back through Red Square and back to the Hotel for some sleep, WHAT a day!

June 1: Muscovites do not rest on Sun! We are off again for more sight seeing after a quick stop in the Hotel to use the Internet (expensive, but we only needed it for less than 10 minutes about 6 rubles a min). TIP: Get a friend or family member to be willing to forward all your emails to the rest. We sent our brother a list of all the friends and family addresses that we wanted to get emails from us while in Russia and he just set up a group email and would forward for us, that way we only had sent spend time in the Internet room composing the email and sending it to him. He would forward any replies to us and we would usually send out responses to individuals in the same email. Off to see Christ church which is magnificent!!!!! You will learn all about the history of the church from you guide. We toured around a bit in the car seeing sites and went to the Armory museum to see many of the relics from all the Tsars (wonderful museum, about 300 rubles admission each and 70 for the guide). I was a bit rainy in the afternoon so we rode around the suburbs and looked at some fancy houses. Had a very late lunch at a great Italian place (awesome Caesar salad!!) , so just had a snack in the evening. TIP: we always bought our guide lunch, he never took advantage and we actually had to encourage him to order a salad and a meal. I do not think that you should feel obligated, but we always wanted to offer and he was always very appreciative. We met up with the other couple and walked around red square a bit, mainly talked and laughed.

June 2: We did not fly out until the late afternoon for Kgrad so we did a bit more sight seeing. Went to an overlook (highest part of Moscow) on a cold and blustery day but it is still very beautiful. We also went the WWII memorial and looked at an amazing sculpture of the Russian Jews/Holocaust (very moving). Lastly to Arbat street to get a few more items and try to stay warm! We (OK I) decided I needed some American food so off the TGIFridays for Lunch (best burger I ever had). We had just enough time after lunch to run by the office and drop off all the souvenirs into Sveltanas "family closet". TIP: We brought an extra bag so that we could leave this kind of stuff in Moscow and pick it back up on the way home. We also took a lot a video while riding around so that our family could watch it together. OFF to Kgrad on a good and smooth flight. We were met by our driver and translator and off to our hotel the Chioka  but it is a wonderful B&B style German Inn on a residential street LOVED IT, very comfortable room with fridge (be sure to ask for a double or half suite with fridge)the hotel ran about 50$ night.

June 3: Breakfast at the café at the hotel (too slow service) and off the Ministry of Education (dress nicer) to "get" our referrals. He was very kind and asked a few questions but not really stressful at all, then off to the Orphanage to meet with the director/main Doctor (Olga). She gave us all the information she had on "Gracie" and asked if we had any questions or concerns about her (we did not at this point), they took us into another doctors office so that the Mitchells could meet with the director and before I knew it there was this beautiful little princess in my arms. She looked so much cuter than her picture and she smiled at me when I said Hello, of course I immediately melted and could not stop smiling!!!!!!!!. TIP: Have your video camera READY so that you can capture this moment forever. We went outside to a nice garden area and met another family there who had come the day before with another agency (they traveled blind but were very happy). We got to visit for about 2 hours and it was one of the most wonderful days of my life (really the same feelings as the day our bio daughter was born). Off to lunch at a "cafeteria style place" which a very good and we all just grinned and picked at our food we were all so excited!!! Back to the orphanage in the afternoon for another 2-3 hour visit and then back to the hotel and the internet café to send an update home. TIP: there are not CDR drives on the computer so you will need to have some way to transfer them to disc in order to upload and send home. We all went our to dinner at a quaint Russian restaurant. TASTY! Then off to bed.

June 4: Off to the orphanage in the morning. We also took all our donations (2 large bags with medical supplies, diaper rash ointment, gently worn clothes in good condition, and about 10 new little sweaters and coats that I picked up on sale. TIP: if you have donations, wait and bring them on the second day, you are too overwhelmed the first and the director will pull out all the items and look at them each approvingly. We got to visit about 3 hours then off to the same "cafeteria" for lunch and signed the papers to begin the adoption of Gracie, who is officially named Gracyn O'Brien Behr. As always we are giddy at lunch and cannot wait to go back. We did have time to go to a great store that sells amber which is important since Kgrad is the amber capital of the world. Back to the orphanage in the afternoon with more precious time with our babies. Internet café and then dinner "Mexican food Russian Style" INTERESTING?????

June 5: Had a shorter visit at the orphanage. We got to take Gracie inside and undress her (there really was a baby under all those clothes). We also got tour of her room and section of the orphanage. TIP: You can take pictures inside the orphanage but none of the other children, they are very strict about this. . We went to meet the Judge for Kgrad region in the morning, nothing intimidating, she really only asked why we wanted to adopt and several questions about our daughter Caroline who is 6. After court we went to lunch and toured the cathedral in Kgrad, then back to the orphanage for our last precious visit with our daughter. It was truly bittersweet but I can say that I felt very peaceful leaving her with those wonderful people. They really care about the children and are so loving and gracious!! Please remember to be kind and respectful with all the workers, even if you do not agree with them about something. The coordinators were there in the afternoon and gave us the schedule for the second trip. Which will be on July 16 with court on July 21. I left all the heavy sweaters and clothes that I did not need in Moscow that I brought there at the hotel for the maids.

June 6: Flew out of Kgrad in the early morning. Good flight, very smooth. Arrived back in Moscow and was met at the airport by Lada (very kind and gracious) and back to Svetlanas office for an update for her and Irena the document translator. They gave us the rest of the schedule for our return in July and we were able to store some more of our items that we would need on the next trip (baby clothes, converter, etc.) Back to the Hotel Rossiya to stow our bags, then off to the diamond museum (WOW), again no cameras allowed inside but they do have an area that you can "check" your camera bag at no charge, very safe. This was the most expensive museum but soooo worth it at 350 rubles + 60 for the guide. Lastly we went inside St. Basils cathedral that we had looked at all the time from our hotel window. It is so beautiful inside and you can take all the pictures you would like. They are renovating some parts both inside and out but it is still amazing.

June 7: Going home to Caroline, bittersweet but we will be back.again.and again

I am glad I----

Took old clothes and just left some there, room for the souveniers

Took lots of video and regular pictures as well as digital to send home

Had layers of clothes (both hot and cold while there)

Took a few snacks but would bring more variety as I got SICK of the same thing

I wish I

Had a million dollars to buy all the supplies they need

Brought Febreeze to freshen up our clothes (we rinsed out but still not like home)

Brought liquid detergent

Had extra disposable cameras as they do not sell these anywhere in Kgrad

Brought better and more comfortable shoes ---Tennis shoes as the sidewalks are extremely uneven and hard to navigate.

Brought a travel iron (we looked pretty rough at the end of the trip)

We knew our court date when we left on trip one. We would need to be in Kalinigrad on July 17 in order to visit our baby for several days before our court date on July 21. We flew out on July 16, arrrived at 11:30 am in Moscow and had to wait until the evening flight out for Kalinigrad..whew we were very tired!!! We stayed at the Hotel Turtle for one night and moved to the Hotel Choika for the rest of our time in Kalinigrad.

July 18: Our first visit back to the orphanage. Our baby recognized us and was very smiley and happy. We have decided on her name, Gracyn O'Brien Behr or Gracie!!!. We visited for serveral hours, went on another tour of the building and visited with the other couples.

July 19: We only visited in the morning since they are "closed" in the afternoon. The guys went to have their passport pictures made and we visited and played with the babies. We did some shopping and reviewed the process for court with Tatiana. Michael has to do most of the talking. They will review all of the information with you and tell you exactly what you need to know!

July 20 (Sunday) off to the Baltic sea for some R & R since the orphanage is not open for visitors on Sundays. The coast is beautiful and about 45 minutes from the city of Kalinigrad. There is a national park there with the Bay on one side and huge Sand dunes and the Baltic sea on the other side. We enjoyed the beach and got some sun. We had lunch at a very nice Café there in the national park and returned home in the afternoon. The rest of the day was spent organizing baby clothes, getting all our gifts ready, Michael studying, and hanging out together for our last "childless" night. We were all a bit nervous and no one slept well that night.

July 21. Court date has arrived. We arrive at 10:30 and are ushered into a small courtroom with the Judge, social worker and director from the orphanage, deputy, stenographer, and us with Tatiana. Always address the Judge directly. Questions were just as we had reviewed the previous Sat. Basic demographical info, income, medical diagnoses of child, reason for adopting, resources and support at home. After Michael did all the above, I was asked to stand, gave some bio info. on myself, plans to return to work, child care, and reason for adoption. Overall very straightforward and simple!!!. At the end they will ask if you have any special requests, and this is when you request waive of the 10 day waiting period. We stepped out for a few moments for the Judge to make her decision, returned and were Declared to be the parents of Gracyn O'Brien Behr at 11:55 on July 21. The rest of the afternoon was spent buying celebration fruit, wine, and sweets to be left at the orphanage after we pick up our children. We arrive at the orphanage at around 4:00 with our clothes, gifts, and diaper bags. They bring the babies to us, we change them, smile, take pictures, present gifts (which will not be opened then), get feeding and sleeping schedules, and say our goodbyes. Tears and laughter is the emotion of the day! We get back to the hotel with Gracie and get into the strollers to walk to the internet café and pick up pizza to take back to the room. All 3 families congregate in our room since we have a suite with lots of extra seating. We put a blanket down and the babies (Gracie, Jackson, and Ally) play and get to know each other while we enjoy pizza and wine!!! WOW what a day. Off to bed with Gracie kind of late due to all of the activity. We got into the tub together with a towel on the bottom of the tub for stability (she loved her bath), clean PJs and off to bed (in a blanket lined rolling suitcase since there are no cribs at the hotel, a large drawer will also work) about 10:30. Gracie only cried out a few times and slept until 6:30.

July 22: was spent signing some papers, getting passport applications submitted, playing with the babies until the Dads returned from the passport office, then a bit of shopping for the moms of the group. Another walk to the Internet café between naps (usually 2 day), more pizza since it is soooo yummy (right around the block from the Internet café) and back to the hotel for the 3 Bs (bath, bottle, bed). Packing up all the stuff for our return to Moscow (deciding to leave some unnecessary items (warm clothing, blankets, etc) with the orphanage, and checking out at 12:00 (we actually all piled in one of the other couples rooms on the first floor and stayed until about 1:30 since we were not due to leave until 2:00). Gracie slept from 10:30 until 7:30.

July 23: Off the park and lunch with the babies while the guys went to pick up passports and buy tickets for the babies return flight to Moscow. Flew out at about 4:45 for Moscow (of course after paying for the luggage overage again!!). Arrived in Moscow about 8:45 to meet our translator Lada and our driver Sasha and off to the Sovietesky Hotel (which is fabulous!!!!) $83 booked on the Internet Just make sure to request initially and confirm for air conditioned room if there in the summer (not needed if there in the fall, etc), we had the most unbelievable suite!!!, nicest room we have ever had ANYWHERE). They brought up a crib so CSS took back their portable crib and settled in for the night.

July 24: Gracie slept from 10:30 until  8:30 (does it get any better?????). She is eating cereal mixed with a small jar of baby food and some formula about 3 times a day with a total of about 24-32 ounces of formula/juice. No problems with the American Carnation (she wanted knothing to do with Simalac or Infamil) formula though I did buy several boxes of the Russian formula and mixed the bottles half/half of each. Getting dressed today to go to CSS office in Moscow to meet with our coordinators and deliver all the Kalinigrad documents to our translator. Off for the medical exam at the Embassy, then to Delta to change our tickets since we are going to be able to leave a bit sooner than planned (Delta was overbooked everyday since the summer is a very high travel season and we were crushed, but then they came through for us with seats on the Sunday flight). Our last night with the one of the other couples. We ate in shifts at Fridays (Girls vs. Guys) while the other half stayed at the hotel with the babies and had a lot of fun.

July 25: Documents delivered to the American Embassy in the morning to be processed, some shopping while Michael relaxed at the hotel with Gracie, then back to the Embassy that afternoon for our scheduled appt. and interview (No big deal, done through a glass window with a very pleasant American worker). Once that was done, back to the hotel for a nap and some more sightseeing in Red Square. We really wanted to get pictures of our babies in front of St. Basils. We also went to the central telegraph to make a phone call home to our daughter Caroline. Our last night together with our new friends the Mitchells. It was bittersweet since we had experienced this journey together.

July 26: Our last full day in Moscow. We got up in the morning to have breakfast with the Mitchells and wish them a safe journey home, then we went back to the flea market for the last of our souveniers. Gracie did great in the stroller and came back to the hotel after a nice lunch at Patio Pizza (great caesar salad!!!). The rest of the day was spent packing up, running a few more errands, get all organized for the trip home.

July 27: returned home. Left Moscow at 1:30 and got the airport (with another BILLION people) but still managed to luck up with bulkhead seats and a bassinet. Flight was uneventful. Gracie slept and ate well. Arrived in NY for our layover and got back to Atlanta about 9:30 pm. Home to Athens at 12:00 am and enough time up to eat, bathe, visit with family before bed at 1:00 am.

What an incredible journey. We have been home now 5 days. It only took Gracie 3 nights to get her schedule back that she had in Russia. The first 3 nights she would wake up once for 1-2 hours to play and go back to sleep until late morning. Now she is going down at 8:30 or 9:00 and sleeping until at least 7:30 am. Eating, adapting, and growing!! Big sister is thrilled with her but a bit overwhelmed so we have encouraged her friends to come over and play and tried to keep her routine as before.

See below for our cost breakdown. Do keep in mind that we traveled in peak season, added 3 extra days on the first trip for sightseeing, went to every museum we could and really went all out with the nice restaurants, tons of souvenirs, etc. We could have saved probably 1-2K if we had been more cost savvy with hotels, meals, etc.

Final Expenses Summary: